Sunday, January 14, 2007

YOUR QUESTIONS TO SIR DIDDY HENSHAW AT HIS GREAT GUARDIAN LECTURE....

DISGRACED former chief executive, Sir David Henshaw has been invited to give a lecture on 'public service and trust' by the Guradian.
The diddy man is totally unaware that, in reality, this is a mischievous piss-take dreamed up after a lunchtime of booze by one Grauniad executive.
Specialist staff have been hired to help the high-powered audience stifle their giggles and wipe away their tears of mirth as Sir Diddy, (who blackmailed the city of Liverpool, mounted a coup d'etat against its elected leader and suspended the council's communications chief on trumped up charges, ed) takes the stage to lecture onlookers.
We have even been promised that his bete noire, former communications chief Matt Finnegan, will be at the conference and ready to confront the little dictator.
And now it's your chance to ask greedy Henshaw some searching questions.
Simply send us a comment with your question and we will post them on the blog and make sure he gets all the questions in time for his star appearance at the conference on the 26th of January. There's no time to lose!
Anonymous said...

My first question would be:

What have you got on Mike Storey?

Roger said...

My question is: Were you really so arrogant that you actually believed you could get away without being exposed for trying to get rid of the Leader of the Council and the council's media chief in your own pursuit of power and personal greed?


Anonymous said...

What have you done for Tony Blair that he still appointed you as Chair of the North West Regional Health Board despite protests from 7? senior MPs and umpteen Councillors and others and the resignation of a rising star junior Minister Jane Kennedy?


Anonymous said...

What have you got on Colin Cover up?

gary t said... Okay then,

my question to Sir Diddy Henshaw, evil being of this parish, is this: 'how does it feel to be the second most hated man on merseyside after former sun editor, sir kelvin mckenzie?'








Jeremy Paxman said...
My question to Sir Diddy is this: what would you most like to be known for: your blackmailing, your attempted coup, your framing of innocent staff, your greed, your ego, or your failure to be respected, trusted or liked by anyone? Which is it, Sir Diddy?

10:48 AM







Matt Finnegan said...

I would like to set my question in context first by talking about blogs - more and more people are discovering how they can be enormously effective in getting some messages out to a wider public and exciting interest amongst the general public. They have even been known to attract the attention of MP's and leading politicians or a whole city. Blogs enable people who have been prevented by the mass media or gagged by their employers, for example, to communicate very directly with the public and ensure that people know all that they should know.I would like to ask Sir David therefore - have you ever thought of starting a blog?

12:55 PM


Observer said...

What advice would you give to other chief executives to prevent what happ


ened at Liverpool happening again?

3:58 PM

Delete
Anonymous said...

what was missing from the liverpoolevilcabal blog?

  • 4:01 PM
  • Trevor McDonald said...

    Aside from trying to oust the Leader of the Council and trying to frame your own staff, what was your biggest mistake?

    Member said...

    Will you be repaying the millions of


    pounds which your successor, Colin Hilton, claims your negotiation of the Liverpool Direct deal with BT has cost the people of Liverpool?

    12:26 AM

    Council employee said...

    Of the 42 separate recommendations made by KPMG to try and clean up your deal with BT, which do you think was the most valid? And if I may be permitted a second question: Will you ever offer a public apology to the people of Liverpool for the damage you have done and the millions of pounds you wasted?



    12:32 AM

    Dr mce said...

    to Matt Finnegan

    Do you mean this isnt David's blog?

    My question is
    Sir Diddy, do you feel the postings on the LIVERPOOLEVILCABAL Blogspot, and all the other blogspots born from this, contain the truth or do you feel the points are untrue and unfair to you and your EVIL friends?
    What are you going to do about it?

    Mrs Hilton said...

    Mr Henshaw
    How much is your house selling for?
    Can me and Colin have a private viewing?
    Will you hurry up and go?

    Mildred said...

    Where do you buy your cuban heels?



    6:04 PM


    Delete
    Phil Hasitall said...

    You tried to sack me once, but I did your bidding and assassinatated numerous good charectors.
    When will I recieve my reward?
    You have left me in this shithole, please sir take me with you, the natives are revolting!
    My smile is wearing thin!

    6:18 PM

    Delete
    Chas Show me the money said...

    Where's my money?

    Charlie Parker said...

    Yes i wuz due sum maw as weill -when can i cowect my share?

    9:24 PM

    Delete
    Anonymous said...

    Are you planning to grow a long beard and thick moustache any time soon?

    9:25 PM

    Delete
    Sir David Henshaw said...

    Why are you all so horrible to me?
    You all needed a kick up the arse and my cuban heels were nice and pointy just for that reason, what would you have done if you were in my shoes?
    I did what I thought was right and mummy told me I deserved all the money and that I should threaten intimidate and generally treat people like the low life that they are.
    Mummy broughtme a friend home one day called DOGGY STYLE, I call him Dr David, he has many friends some who smile a lot and others who keep asking me to show them the money.
    Mummy told me that I needed these people to get on in the world as I could not do it alone because I am a midget.
    Please stop picking on me or I will get mummy onto you all.

    3:10 PM

    Delete
    Mike Tall Storey said...

    Can I have my job back now???

    3:39 PM

    Delete
    Nigel Ponsonby-Smallpiece said...

    My question to Sir Diddy. Can you stand up to give your lecture please....oh sorry.

    2:44 AM

    Delete
    fellow cowboy said...

    Can you get stirrup attachments for those?

    10:25 AM

    Delete
    Intrigued said...

    This is 11 am on this coming Thursday excuse me Friday right?

    http://society.guardian.co.uk/summit/page/0,,1942542,00.html ??

    11:07 PM

    Delete
    Prof Yaffle Chucklebutty said...

    Extract from the lecture found on laptop.

    By Jove, missus! what a tattynefarious day, yes, when I was made Squire of Grotty Cash. Who would have thought it, from those dark days in the Knowsley Jam-butty mines to be elevated to such lofty heights. And that's not just my cuban heels. What a beautiful day for putting a shovel in your underpants and saying how's that for a Big Dig?

    Yes when the good burghers and some very silly burghers of Lollypool, put me in charge of Chuckle Chambers I didn't want to leave this wonderful city with tears for souveignirs but to leave you feeling full of mirth and your spirits lighter. Well i was close missus I left full of murk and with your bank balance much lighter. Of course I am now a Knight of the Realm. And what a bloody awful night it was too. Arise Sir Diddy,they said, yes please I said, so I increased my salary.

    But I couldn't have done it without good friends. And closest of all was Doc the Marmaliser. He helped me leave a great legacy, LDL. Lotsa Dirty Lucra. Where's all the money gone people ask. Well mostly to Charity to help a dear old lady called Beatty.

    A shame I fell out with Dickie Mint over silly things like the Trams and the Cloud but when he tried to offer me a bus pass to go it was only Off- peak, an insult to a man of my standing (4' 10" in my heels) and I was not going to stand at the bus stop until 9.30 missus, not with the cold windy weather whistling round your knighthood. I didn't want my investments shrinking.

    So i threatened to report Dickie to the to help the aged standards committee and they were shocked at what they found! Dickie had been trying topple me with his cohort, Mattymail Funniblog.

    Dickie had to step down from his high office and finally look me in the eye. A new experience for me! But it was all worth it, i got my pension and my full bus pass. So I think the whole issue about standards in public office that can be learned from my time in charge of the chuckle muscle of merseyside comes down to one thing Happiness!

    We all need to be happy and it's good to see that despite all the bigwigs driving around in their posh cars, they stil think of the less fortunate, like the Homeless and have, I believe, just invested some cash in Shelter.

    So the Liver Birds still stand proud and so do the pigeons on the roof of the Town Hall and as i said to the pigeons on the day I left, lets stop all this silly coo nonsense. I did what I did to stand up for Diddymen everywhere. Tatty Bye everybody Tatty Bye!!!!

    4:02 AM

    33 comments:

    Anonymous said...

    My question is: Were you really so arrogant that you actually believed you could get away without being exposed for trying to get rid of the Leader of the Council and the council's media chief in your own pursuit of power and personal greed?

    Tony Parrish47 said...

    good one!

    Anonymous said...

    What have you done for Tony Blair that he still appointed you as Chair of the North West Regional Health Board despite protests from 7? senior MPs and umpteen Councillors and others and the resignation of a rising star junior Minister Jane Kennedy?

    Anonymous said...

    What have you got on Colin Cover up?

    Anonymous said...

    Can i choose what colour my questions appear in?

    Tony Parrish47 said...

    Depends if you ask a good question, or not. What colour would you like?

    Anonymous said...

    a pale yellow would look good i reckon

    Tony Parrish47 said...

    getonwithitthenforchrissakes

    Anonymous said...

    Okay then,
    my question to Sir Diddy Henshaw, evil being of this parish, is this: 'how does it feel to be the second most hated man on merseyside after former sun editor, sir kelvin mckenzie?'

    Anonymous said...

    My question to Sir Diddy is this: what would you most like to be known for: your blackmailing, your attempted coup, your framing of innocent staff, your greed, your ego, or your failure to be respected, trusted or liked by anyone? Which is it, Sir Diddy?

    Anonymous said...

    I would like to set my question in context first by talking about blogs - more and more people are discovering how they can be enormously effective in getting some messages out to a wider public and exciting interest amongst the general public. They have even been known to attract the attention of MP's and leading politicians or a whole city. Blogs enable people who have been prevented by the mass media or gagged by their employers, for example, to communicate very directly with the public and ensure that people know all that they should know.I would like to ask Sir David therefore - have you ever thought of starting a blog?

    Anonymous said...

    What advice would you give to other chief executives to prevent what happened at Liverpool happening again?

    Anonymous said...

    what was missing from the liverpoolevilcabal blog?

    Anonymous said...

    Aside from trying to oust the Leader of the Council and trying to frame your own staff, what was your biggest mistake?

    Anonymous said...

    to Matt Finnegan

    Do you mean this isnt David's blog?

    Anonymous said...

    Will you be repaying the millions of pounds which your successor, Colin Hilton, claims your negotiation of the Liverpool Direct deal with BT has cost the people of Liverpool?

    Anonymous said...

    Of the 42 separate recommendations made by KPMG to try and clean up your deal with BT, which do you think was the most valid? And if I may be permitted a second question: Will you ever offer a public apology to the people of Liverpool for the damage you have done and the millions of pounds you wasted?

    Tori Blare said...

    My question is
    Sir Diddy, do you feel the postings on the LIVERPOOLEVILCABAL Blogspot, and all the other blogspots born from this, contain the truth or do you feel the points are untrue and unfair to you and your EVIL friends?
    What are you going to do about it?

    Anonymous said...

    Mr Henshaw
    How much is your house selling for?
    Can me and Colin have a private viewing?
    Will you hurry up and go?

    Anonymous said...

    Where do you buy your cuban heels?

    Anonymous said...

    You tried to sack me once, but I did your bidding and assassinatated numerous good charectors.
    When will I recieve my reward?
    You have left me in this shithole, please sir take me with you, the natives are revolting!
    My smile is wearing thin!

    Anonymous said...

    When am I going to see the money Henshaw?????

    Anonymous said...

    Yes i wuz due sum maw as weill -when can i cowect my share?

    Anonymous said...

    Are you planning to grow a long beard and thick moustache any time soon?

    Anonymous said...

    Why are you all so horrible to me?
    You all needed a kick up the arse and my cuban heels were nice and pointy just for that reason, what would you have done if you were in my shoes?
    I did what I thought was right and mummy told me I deserved all the money and that I should threaten intimidate and generally treat people like the low life that they are.
    Mummy broughtme a friend home one day called DOGGY STYLE, I call him Dr David, he has many friends some who smile a lot and others who keep asking me to show them the money.
    Mummy told me that I needed these people to get on in the world as I could not do it alone because I am a midget.
    Please stop picking on me or I will get mummy onto you all.

    Anonymous said...

    Can I have my job back now???

    Anonymous said...

    My question to Sir Diddy. Can you stand up to give your lecture please....oh sorry.

    Anonymous said...

    Can you get stirrup attachments for those?

    Anonymous said...

    This is 11 am on this coming Thursday excuse me Friday right?

    http://society.guardian.co.uk/summit/page/0,,1942542,00.html ??

    Anonymous said...

    Extract from the lecture found on laptop.

    By Jove, missus! what a tattynefarious day, yes, when I was made Squire of Grotty Cash. Who would have thought it, from those dark days in the Knowsley Jam-butty mines to be elevated to such lofty heights. And that's not just my cuban heels. What a beautiful day for putting a shovel in your underpants and saying how's that for a Big Dig?

    Yes when the good burghers and some very silly burghers of Lollypool, put me in charge of Chuckle Chambers I didn't want to leave this wonderful city with tears for souveignirs but to leave you feeling full of mirth and your spirits lighter. Well i was close missus I left full of murk and with your bank balance much lighter. Of course I am now a Knight of the Realm. And what a bloody awful night it was too. Arise Sir Diddy,they said, yes please I said, so I increased my salary.

    But I couldn't have done it without good friends. And closest of all was Doc the Marmaliser. He helped me leave a great legacy, LDL. Lotsa Dirty Lucra. Where's all the money gone people ask. Well mostly to Charity to help a dear old lady called Beatty.

    A shame I fell out with Dickie Mint over silly things like the Trams and the Cloud but when he tried to offer me a bus pass to go it was only Off- peak, an insult to a man of my standing (4' 10" in my heels) and I was not going to stand at the bus stop until 9.30 missus, not with the cold windy weather whistling round your knighthood. I didn't want my investments shrinking.

    So i threatened to report Dickie to the to help the aged standards committee and they were shocked at what they found! Dickie had been trying topple me with his cohort, Mattymail Funniblog.

    Dickie had to step down from his high office and finally look me in the eye. A new experience for me! But it was all worth it, i got my pension and my full bus pass. So I think the whole issue about standards in public office that can be learned from my time in charge of the chuckle muscle of merseyside comes down to one thing Happiness!

    We all need to be happy and it's good to see that despite all the bigwigs driving around in their posh cars, they stil think of the less fortunate, like the Homeless and have, I believe, just invested some cash in Shelter.

    So the Liver Birds still stand proud and so do the pigeons on the roof of the Town Hall and as i said to the pigeons on the day I left, lets stop all this silly coo nonsense. I did what I did to stand up for Diddymen everywhere. Tatty Bye everybody Tatty Bye!!!!

    Tony Parrish47 said...

    It dewserved to have much attention drawn to it, folks. And yes, intrigued, it is the very same lecture. Are you going?

    Anonymous said...

    I have just heard that Henshaw has in fact given his apologies and won't be speaking at the Gurdin conference now. Something about him being called to a beach in Devon. He apparently had some things to pick up....

    Anonymous said...

    Was it a VERY unhappy childhood, Diddy?