Wednesday, January 03, 2007

HENSHAW TO LECTURE ON 'PUBLIC SERVICE AND TRUST' SENSATION - GUARDIAN'S AMAZING SENSE OF HUMOUR

DISGRACED chief executive Sir David Henshaw is to lecture on 'public service and trust' in a stunning piss-take of his mis-rule in Liverpool by The Guardian newspaper.
Chortling executives at the broadsheet have displayed a surprising and previously hidden sense of humour by announcing they have booked Sir Diddy to speak at a special summit on the future of public services.
That event would be side-splitting enough and one of the humnour highlights of the year given Henshaw's previous history in Liverpool and that he:
  • attempted a coup against the elected leader of the city council
  • blackmailed the city council
  • abused his position for private gain
  • stole millions of pounds of public money
But those clever Hampstead intellectuals at the Groaniad have gone even further, laughingly labelling the summit - in a clear and knowing reference to the diminutive diddy dictator - as "Smaller but cleverer? The coming shape of government in a changing world."
It's understood that executives on the paper will be on hand at the summit to give out hankies to the invited audience to help them stifle their tears of laughter when diddyman Henshaw gets to his little feet and pompously holds forth.
The plan to invite greedy Henshaw to the summit was apparently dreamed up in an Islington wine bar one long afternoon by an anti-establishment senior executive at the paper.
It's thought the brainwave came out of a deliberate attempt to undermine the entire credibility of the prestigious conference. (Good job the editor hasn't twigged yet, then, ed)
It's understood that, like many others, the exec had become increasingly disenchanted with the national media's obsession with the narrow Westminster village and life in London.
He had bravely decided to take a principled and campaigning interest in Henshaw's disgraceful activities in Liverpool, which have caused so much damage to democracy and the city's image , finances and interests.
The un-named editorial crusader (perhaps he is a relative of Tony Parrish? ed) believed that the disgraceful behaviour of Henshaw as a senior public "servant" who is now responsible for the North West's health service, was a cause for serious concern.
He arranged to hire Henshaw for an undisclosed fee (but we bet it's a packet, ed) in order to expose his activities and hypocrisy to a wider public.
Thus Henshaw will be addressing the two-day conference (the delegate fee is a bargain £999 only, ed) on "a new public relationship which explores in detail the relationship between public and government."
The Guardian apparently cleverly intends to demonstrate how much damage Henshaw, as a so-called public servant, caused to democracy and the public interest when he took on the elected leader of the council after their relationship collapsed.
Of course he then blackmailed the city council, suspended his media chief on trumped up charges and finally extorted a huge £340,000 pay off out of the council for agreeing to take early retirement.
The Henshaw lecture session, which is on Day 2 of the conference, will discuss "would decentralisation assist the recovery of trust"?
(Not necessarily, if the chief executive happens to be a vicious and nasty, power-mad little ego-maniac, who is only interested in how much public money he can screw out of the public purse, ed)
The summit is being held in a big posh hotel at St Albans on January 25 and 26th and will feature appearances by democractic luminaries such as Cabinet Secretary Sir Gus O'Donnell, Tory leader David Cameron (right), Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger and the paper's well informed and knowledgeable David Walker, who is responsible for organising the summit.
The original Tony Parrish whose liverpool evil cabal blog first exposed Sir Diddy's evil deeds came out of retirement to give us his exclusive reaction to the Groaniad's clever stunt.
He told us: "Many people believe the Guardian is a supremely cynical and hypocritical publication which poses as having a liberal conscience and sensibility whilst conspiring to consistently undermine all that is decent in public life and public service.
"Others feel that it is just obsessed with London politics and pays lip service to the rest of the country and serious issues which matter such as local democracy and accountability.
"But this incredibly subtle piss-take and clever ruse of inviting Sir Diddy to try and lecture people on 'trust and public service' proves that the Guardian is as committed to democracy, truth and justice as we had all hoped.
"We can all rest easy in our beds that the future of British journalism is safe in its hands."
You can check details and ticket availability of the Guardian's prestige summit at It must be a piss-take.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aha! Irony is alive and well in Liverpool still. Jolly good!

Anonymous said...

This is, as has been said many times before on this blog, absolutely unbelievable.

Anonymous said...

I think we should have a whip round and send Tony there as a delegate to cause some fun...

Anonymous said...

How the wee one has the temerity to do anything other than hang his head in absolute shame and disgrace is a complete mystery to me - If I could actually believe that it was a Guardian mickey take then i would be extremely relieved

Anonymous said...

Tony

we are so lucky to have you letting us know about the exploits of these nasty cabalists

Anonymous said...

Henshaw undoubtedly achieved much as Chief Exec in Liverpool and developed a high profile for himself. Along the way there was also, alledgedly, sharp practice, bullying, aggressive behaviour and pure greed. Tony Parrish's blog has shown us the festering swamp where some of the bodies are concealed. It would be interesting if Henshaw were asked, at the conference, about his ability to cope with bad news and to survive like a latter-day Houdini.
Great Blog- all the Tony Parrishes and Tori Blares are doing a great job- keep it up.

Anonymous said...

A magnificent expose. Magnificent.

Anonymous said...

I have been told that Matt Finnegan has now been invited to speak to the same conference on the subject of "In defence of democracy". Which should mean there will be some spectacular fireworks if he comes across Sir Diddy. I reckon the Guardian could be selling tickets for this for twice the price now!

Anonymous said...

Bloody hell i would pay 10 grand for a ticket. I bet Mattie would take a swing at Henshaw's chin if he spotted him lurking within 50 feet. It would be brilliant to see it.

Anonymous said...

yes tell me where to buy a ticket please I wouldnt mind a swipe at the poison dwarf's chin myself

Anonymous said...

well we should have a whip round and send him as a delegate. sir diddy would run a mile! i hope someone is going to send us a report of what happened!

Tori Blare said...

I will be in the front row eating popcorn,

Anonymous said...

Tony are you holding a competition for best questions to be put to the dark one once he's finished his presentation and the floor is given to other delegates with queries?

Do you think it could it be filmed and streamed live on this blog?

Anonymous said...

Do you think we could get him to have one of his tantrums on stage

Tony Parrish47 said...

brilliant idea to put questions to him. people can post them as comments now, and i will create a special post for them, soon.

Tori Blare said...

This questions request will require much concentration from us all so we get as much information as possible extracted from the diddy man,
If you know of any one going to this get them to ask awkward questions!
Oh the fun we could have....

Anonymous said...

My first question would be:

What have you got on Mike Storey?