Friday, January 26, 2007
THE SQUIRE OF MEDI-CASH, AKA PROFESSOR CHUCKLEBUTTY, WRITES EXCLUSIVELY FOR HENSHAW AND THE EVIL CABAL ON SIR DIDDY AND MAGGIE BOYLE....
You ungrateful Bassets!
What have I done to deserve this missus? How tickled I was to take up my new post as chairman of the Great North Western Railway Health Authority. Or whatever it's called.
To be honest,I only looked at the wages.
Mind the gap! Ha-ha, Yes, the one between credibility and salary.
Well as you know, my tickling stick can fill any gap, They can't touch you for it!
Yes, health. Of course I've been drumming up business for the health service for years, most people are quickly sick at the sight of me.
As new chairman, I was able to pick my own chair, but I still had to put four cushions on it so they could see my head over the table.
And now, here I am working in health being accused of speeding up the process to get rid of a troublesome boil!
People are saying that I was scared of her standing up to me, what nonsense! she stood up to me once and i looked her straight in the gusset and said, listen here Maggie, you'll never walk down Lime Street anymore if you carry on like this. Mind you, you can't drive down either.
So as Chairman, i excercised my authority and hid her chair for the next meeting. She was totally discomknockerated and quickly cleared off to take a new job in charge of the Veterinary surgery in Emmerdale.
i was in Emmerdale once you know missus, Ooo Arrrhh yes! In the old days when Amos Brailey was birdwatching. The script called for a little tit to come through the window of the Woolpack.... how dare you madam? No I was an extra who found a feather in his pint.
Anyway, where was I?
oh yes..do you know ladies and gentlemen, it's free for the public to dial 999? That can't be right? Lets's face it, if you are really sick you wont mind paying a few bob to phone for an ambulance.
And now when you ring them, there's no recorded message or music to listen to! What kind of customer care is that? A little Rossini will help you stop worrying about the scissors in your neck. The Thieving Magpie has always been a favourite of mine. That reminds me i must call the Doctor myself.
And this 999 service is all so gloomy. Cheer the callers up with a few shaggy dog stories, in fact I'll give you his number.
Now we all want good health and i believe that there is only one part of the body that needs treating regularly, and that's the funny bone. yes the Humourus. we all need to excercise the chuckle muscle at least 3 times a day.
First thing in the morning, I go into the bathroom, take all my clothes off in front of the mirror and look at the size of my moneybelt. Ha Ha! By Jove! One sneeze and I could hit the jackpot. Hold yer plums Diddy!!
And forget all this nonsense about obesity, it's nice to get hold of something, isn't it ladies and gentlemen, I keep piling on the pounds and that excercises my chuckle muscle every time I go to the bank.
Yes the Wealth Service is safe in my hands!!! Tatty-bye everybody tatty-bye!!!
DISGRACED former chief executive Sir David Henshaw changed the day of his Grauniad lecture to avoid an angry public confrontation with his former media chief.
Sir Diddy begged organisers of the conference to let him speak a day early than scheduled so that he could escape a public mauling from Matt Finnegan, the city council's former AED (Media).
Sir Diddy was due to speak at the conference on Friday when Finnegan, who had been framed and suspended by Henshaw, planned to join other Merseyside delegates in questioning Henshaw about his record at Liverpool, which cost council taxpayers millions.
But when Henshaw read this blog and found out who was amongst the delegates in the audience, he pleaded with the Guardin to allow him to speak on Thursday instead, in an unadvertised slot, because he feared an embarrassing scene.
A Guradian staffer said:"Sir David has kept up to date with what is being said about him on the blogosphere and elsewhere and was clearly concerned that there would be people in the audience who were not amongst his supporters and there might be some inappropriate questioning after his speech. He asked us to bring his slot forward a day to avoid any
unpleasantness - and we were happy to oblige."
As Henshaw escaped from the Guardian Public Services Summit Finnegan, who has become Henshaw's sworn enemy, warned there would be 'no hiding place' for Henshaw.
He said: "I am obviously disappointed that Henshaw did a runner and scarpered early. He did the same in Liverpool of course, to avoid embarrassing and difficult questions.
"He will find that he can run, but he can't hide - eventually his sins will catch up with him."
During his Thursday speech Henshaw, chairman of the North West Strategic Health Authority, had the gall to blame everyone but himself for the fall-out in Liverpool and being finally shown the door.
Henshaw conveniently ignored his own personal greed, attempts at blackmail and attempted coup d'etat, and his own abuse of his personal position and power.
Astonishingly, Henshaw who took early retirement after a no confidence vote by Executive Members following his feud with Mike Storey, blamed "additional pressure from central government on council chief executives" for his bust-up.
Henshaw, who was paid £250,000 a year and left Liverpool with a £360,000 pension pay-off, said local authority chief executives were faced with pressures from the government, which 'sometimes conflicted with the ambitions of locally elected councillors and caused tensions on the ground.'
This of course, has absolutely nothing to do with his departure from Liverpool.
The tensions on the ground at Liverpool came from his own personal style - his bullying, lying and uncontrollable rages had finally become too much for the politicians to stomach any longer.
They feared that his huge ego, control freakery, arrogance and obsession with his own image was harming relationships inside and outside the city and damaging Liverpool'e reputation.
In his Guardian speech, Henshaw tried to rehabilitate his shattered reputation by posing as a defender of democracy, when as has been revealed, he had personally orchestrated an attempt to remove Liverpool's democratically elected leader.
"We are seeing more and more clashes between managerial and political leadership," said Henshaw, trying to excuse his own extraordinary behaviour and implying that the Liverpool debacle was not unique.
"Pushing responsibility towards managers by central government creates a displacement of power at local level which leads to tensions."
In other words, it was all Mike Storey's fault because he was jealous of Sir Diddy's power (and his intellectual superiority, political astuteness and personal charm no doubt, ed)
Henshaw's immense ego, self-importance, arrogance and control freakery were beginning to alienate everyone who came across him (see Maggie Boyle's resignation, ed)
He had simply become too big for his boots (even with his Cuban heels on, ed).
There was a genuine fear for the future of the city if he carried on a moment longer.
Henshaw is now so desperate to try and re-write history (like every other dictator, ed) that he personally briefed The Guardian reporter at the conference on the civil war in Liverpool, trying to pass it off as "a professional feud" with Storey.
It was both a deeply personal and highly political feud which, if it had happened in Islington, the Guardian would have been splashing all over the front page as a threat to democracy.
Henshaw is well aware that he has now been publicly identified as an anti-democrat and plotter of coups.
To try and rebuild his reputation he, apparently straight-faced, told the Guardian audience:
"Unless we empower local elected politicians with real responsibility and real accountability we will not refresh the local politics that need to be refreshed and therefore reengage at local community level."
What a hypocrite the greedy little man truly is...
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Another senior official has quit after a bust-up with Sir Diddy (Sir David Henshaw, ed)
But this time it is not a council official, but a senior health service official who has resigned.
Maggie Boyle, chief executive of the Royal Liverpool and Broadgreen Hospitals Trust has announced that she is leaving after four-and-a-half years in the job.
Ms Boyle is leaving the £145,000 a year job and getting out of the North West into the bargain, to avoid having to work a day longer under Sir Diddy's direction as Chairman of the North West Strategic Health Authority.
An agreement was finally only reached last year after Sir Diddy was forced to take early retirement from the city council when new council leader Warren Bradley told him to go.
Ms Boyle admitted the negotiations with Henshaw had been "difficult", mainly because he hated having to face a strong woman who would stand up to him and refused to be bullied.
She said discussions had become easier following his forced departure.
"It was much smoother once Warren Bradley took over as leader at the council. He and the new chief executive Colin Hilton have been much easier to deal with.
"It was about finding a compromise that meant both the hospital and the road could be built, because at one point it looked like we might have neither." (thanks to Henshaw's bull-headed obstinacy and opposition to any idea that did not come from his own little brain, ed)
"I'm happy that the solution we've come up with is the best for the city," said Boyle.
Henshaw, of course, will be delighted at Boyle's departure so that he does not have to face her again.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Sunday, January 14, 2007
The diddy man is totally unaware that, in reality, this is a mischievous piss-take dreamed up after a lunchtime of booze by one Grauniad executive.
Specialist staff have been hired to help the high-powered audience stifle their giggles and wipe away their tears of mirth as Sir Diddy, (who blackmailed the city of Liverpool, mounted a coup d'etat against its elected leader and suspended the council's communications chief on trumped up charges, ed) takes the stage to lecture onlookers.
We have even been promised that his bete noire, former communications chief Matt Finnegan, will be at the conference and ready to confront the little dictator.
And now it's your chance to ask greedy Henshaw some searching questions.
Simply send us a comment with your question and we will post them on the blog and make sure he gets all the questions in time for his star appearance at the conference on the 26th of January. There's no time to lose!
Trevor McDonald said...
Aside from trying to oust the Leader of the Council and trying to frame your own staff, what was your biggest mistake?
Will you be repaying the millions of
pounds which your successor, Colin Hilton, claims your negotiation of the Liverpool Direct deal with BT has cost the people of Liverpool?
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Chortling executives at the broadsheet have displayed a surprising and previously hidden sense of humour by announcing they have booked Sir Diddy to speak at a special summit on the future of public services.
That event would be side-splitting enough and one of the humnour highlights of the year given Henshaw's previous history in Liverpool and that he:
- attempted a coup against the elected leader of the city council
- blackmailed the city council
- abused his position for private gain
- stole millions of pounds of public money
It's understood that executives on the paper will be on hand at the summit to give out hankies to the invited audience to help them stifle their tears of laughter when diddyman Henshaw gets to his little feet and pompously holds forth.
The plan to invite greedy Henshaw to the summit was apparently dreamed up in an Islington wine bar one long afternoon by an anti-establishment senior executive at the paper.
It's thought the brainwave came out of a deliberate attempt to undermine the entire credibility of the prestigious conference. (Good job the editor hasn't twigged yet, then, ed)
It's understood that, like many others, the exec had become increasingly disenchanted with the national media's obsession with the narrow Westminster village and life in London.
He had bravely decided to take a principled and campaigning interest in Henshaw's disgraceful activities in Liverpool, which have caused so much damage to democracy and the city's image , finances and interests.
The un-named editorial crusader (perhaps he is a relative of Tony Parrish? ed) believed that the disgraceful behaviour of Henshaw as a senior public "servant" who is now responsible for the North West's health service, was a cause for serious concern.
He arranged to hire Henshaw for an undisclosed fee (but we bet it's a packet, ed) in order to expose his activities and hypocrisy to a wider public.
Thus Henshaw will be addressing the two-day conference (the delegate fee is a bargain £999 only, ed) on "a new public relationship which explores in detail the relationship between public and government."
The Guardian apparently cleverly intends to demonstrate how much damage Henshaw, as a so-called public servant, caused to democracy and the public interest when he took on the elected leader of the council after their relationship collapsed.
Of course he then blackmailed the city council, suspended his media chief on trumped up charges and finally extorted a huge £340,000 pay off out of the council for agreeing to take early retirement.
The Henshaw lecture session, which is on Day 2 of the conference, will discuss "would decentralisation assist the recovery of trust"?
(Not necessarily, if the chief executive happens to be a vicious and nasty, power-mad little ego-maniac, who is only interested in how much public money he can screw out of the public purse, ed)
The summit is being held in a big posh hotel at St Albans on January 25 and 26th and will feature appearances by democractic luminaries such as Cabinet Secretary Sir Gus O'Donnell, Tory leader David Cameron (right), Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger and the paper's well informed and knowledgeable David Walker, who is responsible for organising the summit.
The original Tony Parrish whose liverpool evil cabal blog first exposed Sir Diddy's evil deeds came out of retirement to give us his exclusive reaction to the Groaniad's clever stunt.
He told us: "Many people believe the Guardian is a supremely cynical and hypocritical publication which poses as having a liberal conscience and sensibility whilst conspiring to consistently undermine all that is decent in public life and public service.
"Others feel that it is just obsessed with London politics and pays lip service to the rest of the country and serious issues which matter such as local democracy and accountability.
"But this incredibly subtle piss-take and clever ruse of inviting Sir Diddy to try and lecture people on 'trust and public service' proves that the Guardian is as committed to democracy, truth and justice as we had all hoped.
"We can all rest easy in our beds that the future of British journalism is safe in its hands."
You can check details and ticket availability of the Guardian's prestige summit at It must be a piss-take.