Wednesday, June 27, 2007

JUNE 27, 2007 - IT'S THE END OF AN ERROR AS THE GRATE MAN FINALLY STEPS DOWN

ONCE he strode the world like a collossus, carrying all before him.

Crowds lined the streets, open mouthed as his chauffeur-driven Jaguar sped by.

He rubbed shoulders with the great and the good, courted the glitteratti and enjoyed luxury holidays in the sun.

Some critiscised his love of the high life, his ego and his fondness for a quick and easy headline.

Even the press seemed in thrall to him.

But today, dear readers, we have witnessed the end of an error.

Sir David Henshaw has finally departed Liverpool, leaving his house at 9 Barkhill Road, Aigburth like a thief in the night.

All that is left to remind us of his evil reign of terror is an empty safe left in the attic and a huge pile of unused rubber heels found beneath the floorboards.

Sir Diddy's huge cheese plant - appropriately presented to him by an obsequious former colleague - lies forlorn and forgotten in the corner of an empty downstairs room.

His new oak and granite kitchen, paid for with his £16,000-a year expense account, is deserted. No sign of any humble pie here - of course, the beans had been spilt a long time before.

His favourite desk plaque, which he had brought from his office in the Municipal Buildings when he had been forced out, has been left discarded on the bare floor. "Sack someone today" it proclaims, underlining Sir Diddy's crude and humourless management style.

On the floor behind the letter box lies only a pile of discarded junk mail - offering homes abroad, offshore bank accounts and tax evasion strategies.

The only clue to Sir Diddy's fate is a £12,000-a-year council computer screen still left switched on. Frozen forever, for all to see, is an image of Kirk Douglas with arm raised aloft in triumph.

Neighbours were today mystified by Sir Diddy's sudden disappearance.

"We don't know where the little bastard has gone," said one neighbour, "we heard some strange sounds - like a huge pile of coins being counted - in the middle of the night and in the morning, the house was empty.

"We never liked him - he was a sanctimonious, evil little shit with a massive ego."

But official sources in the city say Henshaw has finally departed Liverpool for pastures new in mid-Wales and his luxury apartment in Manchester city centre.

"His name will be forever mud in Liverpool, "said one member of the great and the good. "No one has a good word to say about him any more - everyone knows that he was bad news for Liverpool. The evil cabal blog did him in, good style - and deservedly so."

A few miles away in a safe house, surrounded by laughing and excited friends and relatives, Tony Parrish sipped his champagne. And smiled contentedly.

15 comments:

Tony Parrish47 said...

With apologies to Tony, obviously....

Tori Blare said...

May I be one of the first to congratulate Tony Parrish in his victory in hounding the diddy man and his dithery wife out of town!
HOORAH!
Maybe Brown will sack him as part of his NHS promises???
That would be a really nice cherry on the top don't you think?
That good news will keep me smiling for a while, but lest not forget the one's that still remain?!

Anonymous said...

Who's next then, McDog or Hasitall?

Anonymous said...

"A nasty little ego-maniac," Mark Dickenson, former editor of the Liverpool Echo.

That's rich coming from Dicko.

Tony Parrish47 said...

Perhaps we should start a readers competition of who they would like to see the back of next - McElhinney or Hasitall?

Fellow scribe said...

I have to say that I do admire the tenacity, determination and the resilience shown by you in keeping this up for so long. I do not know the rights and wrongs of what happened, although I have a hunch that what I have read here is only the tip of a very nasty iceberg, but I presume that if it was wholly wrong Sir David would have eagerly had recourse to his lawyers and have sued you for all the clothes off your back. I do think there has been a great injustice perpetrated here, for which Henshaw has now paid handsomely - not in money, but in his reputation and public standing, at least in Liverpool. If its any consolation, I do think he must bitterly regret ever deciding to take you on. He did seriously underestimate you, didn't he? Well done - I and many others I'm sure, have been impressed, informed and entertained by a noble campaign.

Ratepayer said...

Yes well done Tony you prised the little leach out and the city will forever be grateful to you for that but lets not stop there - theres plenty more bad uns to go at before we are cured

Anonymous said...

Why have the 'Liverpool in a Mess' & 'Liverpool Ungagged' sites gone the same way as 'Liverpool Subculture'?

Sir diddy said...

its a conspiracy

Tori Blare said...

If people care to give their names to my email I will explain the reason behind the sites of mine not being open to anyone, just those invited people, what those invited people do with my information is their business.
Life goes on with other blogs just like my others.
Never again will Liverpool City Council be able to hide their dirty dealings behind a media block,.
Tony Parrish led the way and has truly achieved miracles, a huge contribution to real journalism and a true victory in Liverpool Political history.
Someone, somewhere, just may be listening in the shadows, the Council can't relax any more.

Anonymous said...

FOR THE SECOND TIME!
Why have the 'Liverpool in a Mess' & 'Liverpool Ungagged' sites gone the same way as 'Liverpool Subculture'?
HAS CENSHORESHIP WON AGAIN?

Anonymous said...

They are back, courtesy of Tony's Parrishioners

HENSHAW LTD said...

I'm coming back for the festival!
I have been asked to perform on the edge of the pier, I don't listen to H&S people, they would have me stand away from the edge in case others chose to mob me and I may fall into the canal they are digging, what they don't know is I am made of rubber, after all my group is called Henshaw and the lazzie bands.
I'm putting on the ritz, or I may put a cream cracker on instead, and dancing with Ginger, thats Warren to you unbelivers.
Big names for the festival, little people performing.
see you all soon my cabalists,keep up the bullying for me.
As Cilla would say, Where is Liverpool?
TARRAH

henny hen hen said...

I'm back I'm back, did you see me on the telly on Wednesday?
Did you like my dancing shoes, they shone so brightly in the sun.
I've enroled myself at Flo's dancing club, we do the samba and the Dale Street shuffle.
Dance away the heartache Liverpool, Dance away the blues.

Henny Hen Hen and Co said...

I had to give the Blue's to Kirkby, it was the only way to stop them poking their noses too much into all the other corrupt actions I got up to when I was their Cheif Executive, I'm so SONNAH, I mean Sorry of course.